End of year joke

Hi sweetie

So, today I went and asked for a guys number (yeah so brave of me) for my friend. The guy (although we didn't know) has 6 mutual friends with my friend... hahahaha now its a messed up situation and all. Its just another funny thing that happened while I was out and I go out a lot lately.

Well its kinda hot here, I have been to the beach twice and now I'm burnt to the point i hate my color. Well everyone says its a nice tan but i don't like tanning, guess I should have thought about it before moving to Australia....

By the way I'm watching "DENSHA OTOKO" and laughing my days off, its hilarious but very sweet. I kinda love the main male character and all, he is a very kind person. I think I'd like a kind and caring boyfriend like him, though he is an otaku and all.

Well I should say another year has gone by and there is less than two weeks to my 30th birthday. I still can't trust men but I have had a lot of guys hitting on me lately so I'm thankful to all the guys who thought i'm worth looking at while i was being miserable and all. I guess my wish is to find a job not necessary nice but a job with an income and love. I miss loving and being loved. Happy new year.

I love you

NUMB

Hi sweetie

I feel like I'm going numb. I don't feel like anything. Guys hitting on me means nothing, I laugh it off and think in the back of my mind 'is he mocking me?'. I go out with friends shopping and nothing seems to look nice and I don't feel like buying anything; food tastes ok but its not satisfying anymore, music sounds nice but its like a mirage and I think ' I wish I had my piano and that I could play it a little bit'.

Have you ever felt this numb? Have you thought everything is worthless? It feels like you are a dead person amongst the living. You feel grey and while looking around you find no escape. 

Well I guess it cannot be helped can it? Everything moves very slow and at the same time very fast. Everything has stopped and at the same time days pass by very fast like the earth is on the run and needs to go somewhere very fast.

Well, my head hurts, I'll try to come back soon and talk to you more. Be well and take care of yourself.

I love you